“During the darkest hours of the civil war, Lincoln wrote to an old friend in Springfield, Illinois, asking him to come to Washington. Lincoln said he had some problems he wanted to discuss with him. The old neighbor called at the White House, and Lincoln talked to him for hours about the advisability of issuing a proclamation freeing the slaves. Lincoln went over all the arguments for and against such a move, and then read letters and newspaper articles, some denouncing him for not freeing the slaves and others denouncing him for fear he was going to free them. After talking for hours, Lincoln shook hands with his old neighbor, said good night, and sent him back to Illinois without even asking for his opinion.
Lincoln had done all the talking himself. That seemed to clarify his mind. ‘He seemed to feel easier after that talk,’ the old friend said. Lincoln hadn’t wanted advice. He had wanted merely a friendly, sympathetic listener to whom he could unburden himself. That’s what we all want when we are in trouble. That is frequently all the irritated customer wants, and the dissatisfied employee or the hurt friend.”
Excerpt from How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie
This is my favorite passage from this book simply because of how true it is and how universally fitting it is for any situation in business, personal relationships, and professional relationships. Quite often we don’t take the time to listen to what other people are saying. Think of how much of an impact you can have on others simply by opening up your ears and taking the time and effort to understand what others are saying…
